Claiming Your Own Success
- Kim Meninger
- 17 minutes ago
- 19 min read
In this episode of The Impostor Syndrome Files, we talk about learning to manage impostor syndrome by recognizing how your hard work has led to your success. My guest this week is Dr. Julien Willard, Chief Economist at Arcstone Private Intelligence. Julien’s path from medicine to healthcare economics to corporate strategy and economic intelligence offers a fascinating window into how high achievers wrestle with impostor feelings even as they build extraordinary careers.
We explore how growing up in a highly intellectual family shaped Julien’s early drive and self-doubt, why he sees career pivots not as failure but as evolution and how his work taught him to stop calling success “luck” and own the hard work behind it. Julien also shares why building a personal board of directors is essential, how mentors can help shift your inner narrative and why leaning into discomfort is the only way to move past fear and into confidence.
About My Guest
Dr. Julien Willard is a startup CEO advisor and former strategy executive at Accenture and IBM who tackles the world's most pressing problems. This health economist and diplomat has guided both country leaders and big pharma executives through complex challenges while battling impostor syndrome along the way.
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Connect with Julien:
Website: https://julienwillard.com/
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Transcript
Kim Meninger
Welcome, Julien, it is so wonderful to have you here today. I'm excited for our conversation, and I'd love to kick us off by inviting you to tell us a little bit about yourself.
Dr. Julien Willard
Well, good morning, Kim, and thank you for inviting me. My name is Dr Julien Willard. I currently am a chief economist at Arcstone Private Intelligence, which is a private sector intelligence firm. Originally, I'm from Moscow. I was born in the Soviet Union to parents who are both European, French and German, so I have a very multicultural background. I also grew up in a family of scientists. My parents, my grandparents, were in physics and chemistry, and I also served in foreign intelligence and intelligence and domestic intelligence service. So highly intellectual environment is what I was exposed to from the very early days, and I moved to London when I was 18. I studied medicine. I was part of the dual degree program, so I did my part of my studies was in Moscow. Part of my studies was in London. I always wanted to be a neurosurgeon. I did not become a neurosurgeon. I became an ophthalmologist. I very quickly realized that care delivery is not my cup of tea. I wanted to still remain in Public Health and Health healthcare and life sciences, but deliver impact on a global scale. So my decision was to obtain degree in healthcare economics, and then I combined my healthcare economics career with economic intelligence work, I was very lucky to see I even used the word lucky word talking about imposter syndrome, right? I was not lucky. I was I worked really hard to get there, right, but I was privileged to live in over 15 countries. I worked with heads of state. I worked with heads of ministries of health in different countries, and eventually I moved to Washington, DC. This is where my American journey started, 10 years ago, and I moved from diplomacy and health economics world into the consulting business. I was a senior executive at Accenture, then most recently, I was a senior executive at IBM, leading the Strategy Group for Life Sciences business and very, very what is it? I think 10 years ago, my friends from other intelligence agencies, they also decided to escape the intelligence work and be part of the strategy community. So we started the this private sector intelligence firm where I'm part-time principal and chief economist.
Kim Meninger
You have a fascinating background I am, so I have to temper my impulse to just to ask increasingly more detailed questions about the work that you do in and of itself, because I know we're here to talk about imposter syndrome, but I can't resist asking you, what does Intelligence look like in healthcare space and like, what is that actually? What is your world? What are you doing?
Dr. Julien Willard
Yes. So most of my work is, has been in in business strategy, corporate strategy and technology strategy space. Now, as you grow your business, you need to be aware of what is happening, where the world is going, and how it can be better prepared to respond to new changes, right? So a lot of companies, when we started this hype around artificial intelligence, there were two types of companies, companies that were caught off guard and they didn't know how to adapt, and there were companies that had been dabbling in machine learning techniques and other modern technologies for a while, and now it's the right time to actually do it more seriously, right? So just to have foresight and to forecast what's coming, you need to do intelligence so it's not in the corporate environment. It's not a spy work, right? It's more of a having foresight. Into what is coming, reading the trends and understanding what competitors are doing and why they're doing what they're doing, and why they're successful or not successful in what they're doing. Most of my work right now and involves one-on-one, confidential advice to either C-level executives or private equity or venture capital firms that are planning to make an investment into a certain startup, and for example, they want to understand the background of the executive teams, their personal traits, their I call it behavior profile, right? Is this a person who I can trust with the investment that I'm about to make since I spent I'm, I was, I'm a trained professional, and I'm trained in behavioral profiling as part of my very early work. I offer this as a service to my clients, right? I would spend a day, let's say, playing golf or, you know, riding horses with those potential CEOs of startups that will receive the investment to better understand who they are as people, and part of that analysis, including understanding if they actually suffer from imposter syndrome.
Kim Meninger
Wow, I want to be you in my next well, and you, I want to talk a little bit about the trajectory that your career has taken. And I want to go back even further to your family of origin, because you talked about growing up in a very intellectual environment which can create sort of the seeds of imposter syndrome as well. There may be, and I don't want to put words in your mouth, but certainly in families that value intelligence, and, you know, sort of academic rigor and things of that nature, there may be implicit or explicit pressure on you. And so I'm curious if you feel like your home environment had any effect on you from an imposter syndrome perspective, or any, any other kind of confidence-related experience.
Dr. Julien Willard
For sure, I think we are definitely a product of our upbringing and a product of our parents. So usually, imposter syndrome forms in under two circumstances. The one circumstance is you have a sibling that is a brilliant sibling, and it's a favored child of the parents, and you always want to be just like that person, right? But you can, you can never get there in the mind, the person can never get there, right? In my case, it was not the case, because I'm the only child, but the expectation from my parents was both explicit and implicit. You know, both my parents have PhD in physics. My mom plays the violin, speaks three languages. My dad speaks three languages as well. You know, he played, he played tennis. So there were a lot of expectations for me to be just like them. But at the same time, when it came, when the time came to picking my career, that's where I had to draw a line. And I said, Look, this is what I want to do, and I have to put my food down and be confident about where I want to go.
Kim Meninger
And how did your parents respond?
Dr. Julien Willard
It was a tough conversation, because they said, Well, we had been developing essentially, you know this, this landing pad, this runway for you our entire life, right? So the easiest path forward is the path of less resistance, right? We can introduce you to the right people. We can help you with this certain education. You know, you are already part of a certain social network that is connected to our family, but that's that was not of interest to me. Well, one, I'm a very much purpose-driven person, and I and I'm a scientist at heart, I never got was interested in physics, by the way, I always was interested in biology and how the living organisms worked. So for me, it was, No, I want to create my own path, and I want to do biology or biology adjacent field, but not physics or aviation.
Kim Meninger
And that I would imagine. Vision requires a lot of courage, and may also come with some doubt as well. Right? Like, what was it like for you to actually make that break and move in a different direction from your parents? Did you struggle with any you know, self-doubt along the way?
Dr. Julien Willard
There was a lot of self-doubt, and I would say that my parents are very supportive today, but they were not supportive at that time. There were no words of encouragement. There was always, you know, the statement that you're on your own, you chose this path and you're going to fail. And for me, it only it was like fuel filled to my fire. If you tell me that I can't achieve something or I will fail, I will double down and I will prove you're wrong. You know, I'm 40 years old now, and I still have this fire every single time I hear from my colleagues, or, you know, management or partners that this is impossible. Watch.
Kim Meninger
And that seems to be, you know, a common response is that there's this feeling of, I'm gonna prove to you that you're wrong about me, right? And did that inspire you, or did you find that to be almost, you know, sort of an added layer of pressure to always..?
Dr. Julien Willard
I think it was always an added layer of pressure. But I also think that I observed the imposter syndrome, the most severe case of it in my in my mother, and as you know, the history of where the syndrome came from, right? It was studied and discovered originally in very successful professional women who struggled with legitimizing success, despite achieving all of the professional accolades and, and accomplishments, right? And they always attributed their success to some external factors. And I remember that my mother, she would always say, Oh, I'm so lucky that I had, I had this I got this award, or I was so lucky that I was sent to work in France, or I was sent to work in the UK. No, Mom, you are not lucky. You actually work in a very male-dominated specialty in the field where you have to work 500% harder than everybody else. So for me, that was the imprint in my memory that this is how you're supposed to be as you grow in your career. So for me, overworking is normal, or was normal?
Kim Meninger
Yeah, and I wonder too, because you you did take some twists and turns in your career. And so when you and was ophthalmology the first step, or did you do something else first? No, the ophthalmology was first step. And so then when you were thinking about this isn't for me, right, you decided you were going to pivot. Was there an element of feeling like you may have failed, or was it more so, coming from a place of this is this is just true for me, that it's not the right place, and I'm going to go shift gears.
Dr. Julien Willard
I always I liked reinvention. I'm a very curious person. I like learning things that are absolutely irrelevant to my day-to-day life to even today, like, for example, just to sidetrack, I went to Barnes and Noble. Barnes and Noble is one of my safe places where I just like to browse and look at what people are reading today. And I found a very big book about aquariums. I got the book about I bought a book about aquariums, and then I spent the next month learning everything about aquariums. And I will never have one myself, but it was very interesting to me. So, when I was, so, when I was, you know, in my, in my 20s, and, you know, finishing, just finishing in my residency, it was normal. I just realized, you know, it's better to pull the plug now than to suffer through 20 years of the ophthalmology career, and then realize this is not what I want to do. I'm created for something else. So for me, it was not a failure. It was I was actually very successful resident. I was a valedictorian before. So, you know, I always overachieved because I worked so hard to prove that I am the best. But I can be to my parents first. Right now, I do it to please myself. So I chose economics. Then I got a scholarship from Melinda Gates, and, you know, I got all the A's in my master's in public health degree, I became a very successful economist, you know, and it's when my diplomatic career came to an end, I didn't feel like a failure, even though it was a very painful and significant change for me, it was another opportunity to do something adjacent use all of the skills that I've built right or developed in strategy, in economics and intelligence, and apply them elsewhere.
Kim Meninger
And I think that's such a positive way to look at it, because I think that too many people stay stuck in the wrong place, and I don't see that judgmentally. I just mean that that's how they feel, that they're in the wrong place because of the sunk cost, right? Because there's that feeling of, I've put so much of myself into this, and I'm either going to disappoint others, or I'm going to have to start over again, or all the rationales that we come up with for staying put instead of what you're describing, which is recognizing that you're accumulating a foundation of skills and capabilities that can be applied in other places too, oftentimes, much more meaningfully.
Dr. Julien Willard
Absolutely. And by the way, what you just said applies also to relationships, right? People stay in relation, in unhealthy relationships for decades, right? And then it's well, it's sunk cost. Already spent so much so much time, right? So from the professional standpoint, a lot of people always ask me questions, Oh, you made so many career pivots, and for them, it may seem like I made dramatic changes in reality, I have been doing the same thing for the past 20 years, right? It's just the skills that I have, you know, the the topic that I applied my skills to slightly changed, but I see this as evolution of a mini Julien to a macro Julien at the age of 40. Yeah. And I look forward to what's going to be next, because I know that my current, you know, the private sector intelligence gig that I'm doing now, this is not, you know, the job for the rest of my life, so I look forward to what's next.
Kim Meninger
So how does it feel to know that where you are today is not where you'll be tomorrow? I mean, does that bring any anxiety? Do you think proactively about the future, or is it more like I'll know it when I see it like how do you sort of process the fact that you know you're in a temporary place, but you don't yet know what the future looks like?
Dr. Julien Willard
Well, foresight is part of who I am, so I always think about what's next, and I want to be in control. This is one of the things that are, you know, one of my traits. I always want to be in control, or at least feel like I am in control of my destiny. I don't know what the next step is going to be, of course. You know, I've been doing consulting for quite some time. My interest, somewhere deep inside, my interest is actually go in-house into a biotech and or a pharmaceutical company as a chief business officer or chief strategy officer, potentially, and try something new. What scares me is like if you tell me that for the rest of my life, I'm going to be doing one job that scares me the most, I cannot imagine myself going to the same office, to the same desk, and doing the same job with the same people. I think that, and by the way, I don't mean it in a in a job-hopping way, I think that it's very important to look for internal mobility within companies, and you need to. I always tell my mentees that you should look for a company that allows that internal mobility within the company, where you get to play different roles over time, where you keep growing.
Kim Meninger
Well, and that, to me, sounds like a personal value of yours, right? That growth, the challenge, the versatility and, and so being in a place that doesn't offer that is going to feel inherently stifling to you, whereas maybe somebody else value stability, right? Might feel really anxious about living in a world that's full of so much change so. So how do you think about advising people who are listening to you, who may be thinking, Hmm, not sure if I'm in the right place. I kind of have this restless spirit, but I'm a little bit afraid right now, because there's so much change going on around me, and so there's pressure to not rock the boat, so to speak, but I also want to continue to grow like, how would you advise somebody in that situation?
Dr. Julien Willard
So there are two parts. There are two parts of me. One is a rational part of me, rational, scientific, analytical Julien, and the second part. The second part is the emotional Julien, right? I think the rational before you make any moves, you listeners, before you make any moves, you have to turn on the rational part of you. And for example, now we live in an in the right, right now, right today, right? We live in a moment of incredible economic, sociopolitical uncertainty. And I do think that right now it is not the right time to pivot career change jobs. I think right now it's time to buckle up and weather the storm. However, this is a great opportunity, especially if you currently have a job. This is a great opportunity to start cooking the next dish, right? Cooking the next opportunity where you want to be, so when we are going to get to the environment of stability and certainty, where the economic pressure is down, this is maybe the time to explore something different. But again, everybody has their comfort zone. Someone is comfortable to make small pivots. Other people are more comfortable to make big changes. What I would say is I managed to overcome my imposter syndrome when I was doing intelligence work. And in intelligence work, there's no luck in intelligence work, it's hard work. It's a lot of tangible steps and actions that one needs to take to get to a certain outcome, and once you start looking back at the steps and efforts you had to take to get to result, you actually start to value your work and value the skills that a person has, then you cannot attribute it to luck or horoscope or whatever.
Kim Meninger
Yes, I want to stick with that point for a minute, because I think that's such an important piece, and you started the conversation by catching yourself talking about being lucky, right? And I wonder if you had or have a practice that allows you to do that, or is that how your brain works? Like do you actually keep track in some way? Because I know our brains don't necessarily automatically go in the direction of the positive, that negativity bias can be pretty strong. So are there practices that you would recommend people adopt to stay connected to that body of work that you're talking about that, that reminds them that it's not luck?
Dr. Julien Willard
Yes, I think for, for me, for example, I, I have my personal board of directors. I call them right? These are very successful people. All of them struggle with imposter syndrome, of course, but they are the people who helped me reflect on how I got to where I got and one of them actually, she's a phenomenal woman, a former C-level executive at a large international corporation. And she always tells me, okay, well, walk me through what actually you did this year to get this result or this promotion or this, you know, pat on the back from the from the boss. And once you start reflecting on what it took you to get here, you start to… that impostor syndrome goes away. You start to realize, oh, actually I'm pretty smart and this is my work. I actually did this. Took this 10 steps. I did this 10 Things to advance the ball forward. So for me, I regularly, well, I also have a, you know. A diary where I write things, but I reflect a lot on the ingredients that I put in the final product, because people are always focused on the final product, right, and they forget the ingredients that they had to procure, master, develop source to get there.
Kim Meninger
Yes, I think that is such an important point and such a great recommendation to everybody listening is to not just focus on the finished product, which is so easy to attribute to circumstance, luck, others, right, but to instead really connect with what got you there, what you know, your hard work, your skills, right, the steps you took as a huge part of overcoming imposter syndrome.
Dr. Julien Willard
And I would say that it is very important to surround yourself with the right people and work to establish a personal board of directors. This would be my second advice, because you if you continue to simmer on your own sauce, you're never going to get out of the imposter syndrome and the anxiety that comes with it, right? I think it's very important to have senior mentors who can actually help you reflect on yourself, reflect on the journey, and help shape that next journey. Right? I also, um, just a side note so my mom. I remember when I was a kid, she was always telling me that, you know, all of my colleagues are men, and you know, I have to prepare for meetings longer than them. I have to, you know, work harder. I have to prepare twice the number of deliverables and so on so forth. And I know that she, at some point, had a male ally mentor who helped her become more confident and help her mitigate some of the symptoms of that imposter syndrome, which is emotional exhaustion, low job satisfaction, right? These are typical symptoms of the problem. And when I became an executive, for me, it became very important to become a mentor to other women. I'm myself, an openly gay man. I became a mentor to women. And this is my, one of my, you know, side projects, where I feel I'm very passionate about it, and I have seen so many incredible women suffer from the imposter syndrome, so bad while being so brilliant, and all they need is someone it doesn't have to be a man, right, But they need someone more senior to help them understand and believe understand their capabilities and believe in themselves.
Kim Meninger
Yes, I think that's such a great point too, because we, we sort of get trapped in our own narrative. It's really helpful to have people around us that can help bring that perspective and essentially be a mirror in ways that we can't be for ourselves. And I'm curious, because I think especially when it comes to people who struggle with imposter syndrome, sometimes that there's that fear of asking for help of people who are more senior. There's that, there's that sense that, well, I don't have anything to offer in return, or I don't want to be seen, because then really important people might actually notice that I'm not as good as they think I am. Right? Do you? Do? You have suggestions for how to go about building those relationships?
Dr. Julien Willard
You just have to, you have to lean into your imposter syndrome, right? One of the thing, one of the one of the coping mechanisms with imposter syndrome is avoidant behavior, right? Oh, I'm not good enough, so I'm not going to speak in this meeting. I'm just going to sit it out, and nobody's going to notice. So we avoid, and instead of avoiding we need to be leaning in. I for example, well, of course, if you have something to contribute to the discussion or to the meeting, you always have to speak out. Otherwise the meeting is going to be dominated with not so competent people. And unfortunately, you know, I agree. Recently watched a YouTube video of some Harvard Business School professor talking about imposter syndrome, and I really liked what he said is, usually people who say that they do not struggle with imposter syndrome, they tend to speak a lot, and they actually tend to be quite incompetent. And I think that, you know, you know, my recent, my very recent corporate experience, actually, I've, I've worked with quite a number of colleagues. Who are they just like the sound of their voice, right? And the people who actually, whose contribution actually matters. Sit quiet, right? So I do think that you have to lean in and speak up and nothing is going to, you know, you're not going to lose your job. Nobody, nobody cares in the end. And this is where it comes by behavior, profile and background is we are very selfish, egocentric people by design. We care about ourselves. We don't really care about other people by design, right? So when people think that, oh, what they're going to think about me, they're not going to think about you. It's not about you. They all are focused on themselves, so that's why speak up in the meeting and don't be shy.
Kim Meninger
Yes, I love that. I think that's so helpful. It's, it's humbling, it's also very liberating at the same time. And I think your, your fundamental point is really critical too, which is, you're not going to get over imposter syndrome by continuing to avoid the things that scare you. You get over it by leaning into what scares you. Because I always say that this great confidence follows action. It's not the other way around. You have to take the scary action first, and then your brain catches up.
Dr. Julien Willard
Precisely, precisely Yes. And another thing I would say is for, for example, for investors that are planning to invest into, let's say startups and smaller companies, spend some time with leadership team that you're about to invest to, to understand who those people are and if they actually experience that imposter syndrome. But don't be blunt about it. Don't ask, Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? They will probably say yes, so, so that you go away with the question. But I think the make observations, because it's very important people who do not experience imposter syndrome, unfortunately, are people who are not brilliant, and usually it's another it's a reflection of a narcissistic behavior. Yes, so very successful people have imposter syndrome period. We just like in my case, for example, I learned to mitigate it, but I still have it, even now on this podcast. Of course, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, Who are you to be on this podcast? But in fact, I've actually accomplished a lot in my career, and I'm pretty damn good at what I do.
Kim Meninger
I love that. And you know, you bring up such an important point about the lack of imposter syndrome, I think that there is an element of potentially sociopathy, right? Narcissism, a lack of self-awareness. And so I think it is really important, and I say this too to hiring managers, to not over-index on confidence, either when you're hiring people, because sometimes we see hesitation or we see self-doubt as a deficiency, when in actuality, that usually indicates that people are going to be more willing to listen to others, right? They don't think they already come with all the answers.
Dr. Julien Willard
Definitely, I agree with you.
Kim Meninger
Well, Julien, this has been such a great conversation. I really appreciate your taking the time to tell us your story and your insights are incredibly valuable as well for people who want to learn more about you or just stay connected and follow your work. Where can they find you?
Dr. Julien Willard
Well, I'm a very approachable person. I like meeting people. I have my personal website, Julien Willard dot com and also you can find me on LinkedIn, and my name is spelled with E. It's a French name, Julien. So I look forward to speaking with all of you listeners.
Kim Meninger
Excellent. I'll make sure those links are in the show notes as well. And thank you so much for being here again, Julien, it was wonderful to have you here. And thank you for all. That you're doing.
Dr. Julien Willard
Incredible. Thank you for inviting me.
