Being More Intentional About Your Career

In this episode of The Impostor Syndrome Files, we talk about why so many professionals drift through their careers instead of intentionally shaping what's next. My guest this week is Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer, executive coach, leadership advisor and co-author of Now Near Next.

Cynthia shares her own unexpected career transition after losing a senior executive role and explains how the work she had already done to prepare for her next chapter gave her the confidence to pursue entrepreneurship instead of returning to corporate America. We explore why so many high-achieving professionals become so focused on proving themselves in their current roles that they never create space to think about where they want to go next.

In our conversation, we discuss the importance of identifying your natural talents instead of focusing exclusively on building new skills. Cynthia introduces the ACES framework to help people recognize the strengths that come most naturally to them and explains why these often become the foundation for more meaningful and sustainable career growth.

We also talk about expanding your current role instead of waiting for someone else to create opportunities for you. Cynthia shares practical strategies for identifying business problems you can solve, making the case for broader responsibilities and reframing self-promotion as an act of service rather than self-interest.

Finally, we explore the role fear plays in career decisions and why learning to recognize your body's early warning signals can help you interrupt unhelpful self-talk before it takes over. Cynthia explains how greater awareness, combined with intentional practice, can help us respond more confidently to uncertainty throughout our careers.

About My Guest

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer is leading a powerful conversation around the hidden problem of how high-performing individuals and organizations gradually lose alignment, not because they fail, but because they stop examining where they’re headed.

Dr. Cynthia is a human capital strategist, executive coach, and bestselling author who brings over 30 years of experience working with leaders at the highest levels of business. Her work, Stop Drifting: The Discipline of Direction, offers a clear, practical way to interrupt autopilot, make better decisions, and move forward with intention.

She’s also the creator of the 7-Minute Pivot™, a simple daily practice designed to help you shift from thinking to action—one decision at a time.

~

Connect with Cynthia:

Linktree: https://linktr.ee/drcynthiabentzenmercer

Website: www.dr-cynthia.com

~

Connect with Kim and The Impostor Syndrome Files:

Join the free Impostor Syndrome Challenge.

Learn more about the Leading Humans discussion group

Join the Slack channel to learn from, connect with and support other professionals.

Join the Facebook group.

Schedule time to speak with Kim Meninger directly about your questions/challenges.

Connect on LinkedIn

Websites: https://kimmeninger.com

Transcript

Kim Meninger

Hi, welcome, Cynthia. I'm really excited for our conversation, and I would love to start by inviting you to tell us a little bit about yourself.

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Oh, thank you so much, and it is so good to be with you, Kim. I gosh, where to begin? So, I have a broadcasting and film undergrad degree, and I bring that up only because I only spent a hot second doing anything in broadcasting. I started a job early on in commercial real estate and fell in love with business, and so it really surprised me. Kind of took a detour. I loved negotiating, I loved leading, I loved everything about business, and I had a wonderful female mentor, which was pretty unique back then, especially in commercial real estate. Found my way into human resources a bit by accident, I think, because I had a strong communications background, it just felt like a really natural fit, and really spent most of my career many different industries, from casino gaming to real estate to the wonderful Cheesecake Factory restaurants to healthcare, and always at the core was human resources, but I diversified along the way, I knew that I always loved business first, and HR kind of at my choice. And so, let's see, three years ago now, I was at what I would call the pinnacle of my career. I was the chief administrative officer of a large health system, I had HR in several other departments, and my job was eliminated through a CEO change, and that was really sort of a big moment that thrust me into what, what's next, and I had two options at that point, I could pursue what I'd always known and done, which is corporate America, or I could pursue what I dreamt would be my encore, my sort of post-corporate career, and go into business for myself and work with leaders and women, and in coaching, and speaking, and writing, etc. which is what leads me here. Thank you for sharing that, and I'm curious, how you talked about being at this crossroads where you had these fundamentally two choices. How much did you think about your career path while you were in it? Right, I'm so happy you asked that question, because probably more than most, but not as much as I should, and let me, let me qualify that toward the end of my corporate career, I knew we were going through a CEO change. I had been responsible for the succession plan for the decade leading up to that point, and I also had some indication that maybe it wasn't going to be a good fit, you just kind of know if you listen to the signals, right, listen to your body, and one of the things that I had embarked on is writing my first book, Now Near Next, with Kimberly Rath, and why that's important is in the research process of writing Now Near Next, we were studying ambitious, overextended professional women, and what we found globally is that women are not intentional in their career path. They liken their success to right place, right time, great boss, good culture, serendipity, luck, you name it, but to a person, and we're talking five race ethnicities, four countries, 20 year age span, people were not women, were not intentional. We've really been conditioned largely to put our head down, work hard, and wait to get tapped, right? So, Kim, in answer to your question, on and off I had been somewhat intentional in some ways more than many that we studied, but I had the benefit of doing that research at a time when I was already feeling uncertain and vulnerable, and so I drank my own champagne. I basically followed the methodology of figuring out what is your next pick a date certain and start working toward that while doing your day job with excellence. So I was able to literally write a plan of what my encore would look like. Now, mind you, I thought that was going to be three to five years down the road, but I was not only did I write the plan, I was doing the baby steps toward it while doing my day job with excellence. So when that still surprising, I don't care how prepared you are, I think when somebody says today's your last day, thank you, go collect your things, it's, it's, it shakes up, and I, for a few days, I thought, "Oh my gosh, I all I've known is corporate.” All I've known is, and so I'm gonna have to relocate by myself. I was single empty nester. It was terrifying, and it was about day three or four that I went, "Wait a minute, I have a plan, and I've been working the plan. I have another option, and so that's really what brings me here at this point, and my journey is I want every single person, precisely women and people of color, to look up, look forward, and do their day job with excellence, but figure out what is your next and start working on it today.

Kim Meninger

I really appreciate your story and your mission to do just that, because I agree with you. I think that there is a way in which so many of the women that I work with almost feel like they're in a constant mode of proving themselves. It, it doesn't even feel like they have earned the right to think ahead, because they still feel like they're trying to prove that they are worthy of the role that they hold today. And so, so much of the brain power goes into how can I be perfect at everything that I'm doing now, and that leaves no space for future planning.

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Absolutely, we over-index on performance, right, instead of potential, and, like you, it's helping every individual to realize that we all have incredible potential and great gifts and talents. The question is, for what, right? Everybody has these unique gifts and talents, which are different than skill and knowledge, and so what I continue to have to impress upon individuals is, yes, continue to build your skill and knowledge if that feels safe for you, but what is your potential? What are those natural gifts and talents that fill your cup, that bring you joy that you do better than most people, and how do you monetize that, and how do you build a next around that?

Kim Meninger

I want to ask you a follow-up question on that, because I also think that a lot of the pillars of potential, so to speak, are often the things that we take for granted because we are good at them, and so we don't see them as special, or we're so focused on what we don't know that we don't think about what we do. Advice on how to even recognize your potential.

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Yes, yes, that is such an important question, and you're right, because it comes so natural to us. It's easy to think, well, isn't everybody like that, right? If you have this amazing attention to detail, and you can find the flaws and things just by just looking at something, right? You just sort of assume everybody's wired that way, perhaps, and again, like you said, we're so focused on being perfect and ticking all the boxes, so we have a model, actually, in now near next, and it's really easy to remember because the acronym is ACES, and so we all have ACES, and we all have spaces, right? None of us walk on water, but if you think about, I want the person listening to think about this, when you think about a day that you leave work or finish an activity or project, and you just feel fired up about it, right? You go home and you're telling your significant other or your spouse, what have you, man, today was a great day, that's a good place to start, but the aces is when you're playing in an area of strength, it's affirming. So, first of all, it's fun, it feels good, it fills your cup. We're off, we're a lot of us are good at a lot of things that don't bring us joy, right? So, so it's not talent if it doesn't bring you sort of joy, and that, and that rash number one, so it's affirming, it's spontaneous. Well, I should go with, I should go, it's consistent with my aces, it's consistent, so you don't sometimes do it, or sometimes feel joy, you always show up this way, right? You're always creative, you're always have a high attention to detail, you always think strategically, kind of, it's very consistent. It's, you do it with excellence, so it's the thing that people come to you and say, "Hey, Kim, can you help me with this? Because you're so good at that, you're so creative, you're such a good big thinker, you're so good with details, and, and very importantly, it's spontaneous, you can't help yourself, right? So, the example I love to give, because we can all imagine this, the example I love to give is for the person that walks into, say, a conference center, a busy conference center before a big conference, and there's people. Sort of everywhere, and there's the tables where they're doing the registration, and there's stanchions to get in line, and the person that walks in, and there's a listener right now that's going, this is so me, that walks in and thinks immediately, without hesitation, you know, if they added one more stanchion over there, and a person on that in this whole thing would be so much more organized, right, and there's, and there's also someone listening right now that says would never occur to me, it would never occur to me, but that person that, that is a natural talent, it, it, it feels good because it's like so illuminating, and you consistently, not just sometimes, you always do it, you do it with excellence, and it happens without any effort or training. That's a natural talent. And so, what I encourage people to do is, what are those things in your life? How much of those are fulfilled in your day job? Hopefully, 80% right. Hopefully, you get to bring all of that, and if not, that's where restlessness starts to emerge. Then where can you do more of that, either as a side hustle or an activity, or you're next?

Kim Meninger

Yeah, I love the way that you don't capture this as an all or nothing, because I think that's often where our brain goes to, as well as, oh, if I'm not doing all of this in my day job, then I'm in the wrong job, and I need to immediately find something new, and really thinking about it in the way that you described, of hopefully there is a certain percentage of this that I'm getting within my current job, but there are also other ways to meet these needs or use these natural talents that are just as fulfilling,

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

100% because here's the thing, the price of gas, right, the price of groceries. There's a, there's a person listening that's saying, you know, I can't just go give notice and go follow my dream. I'd love to be a singer, or, you know, my daughter, when she was young, was going to give up her singing dream to be a stand-up comedian, of all things, I'm like, could we pick something practical, but the point is, you may have these passions, these talents, these gifts, and maybe you're not getting them fulfilled in your day job. That doesn't mean anybody thinks that you should go give notice tomorrow and go follow that dream. I don't think that that's realistic. What might be realistic is right now at this stage and phase of life, you need to hold that job because of the benefits of this, the that, but can you volunteer at a place that really speaks to your heart? Is there a side hustle that you could create? Is there a project that you could do? I mean, there's so many ways to find to unleash those gifts and talents, but I wouldn't want, but I, but I want to put a really strong fine point on, do your day job with excellence, but start working on your future today. It also doesn't mean just continue to go through the grind with your head down blindly forever and ever and ever, and try to feel your joy somewhere else. Yes, right. Both, both things can be true.

Kim Meninger

Yes. And I want, I would love to hear more about what you were doing when you were taking the baby steps, when you, you were planning for this future you didn't realize was going to come as quickly as it did. But how did you balance the day job and making sure that you were doing it with excellence while also thinking more broadly about what you wanted to do down the road?

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Yeah, so I'm going to answer that really, really honestly, and I would tell you that in, if I had it to do over again, I might have done it a bit differently, because I think I over emphasized trying to not take away, quote unquote, from my employer, and what I mean by that is, so I wrote the first book while working my very busy job. I'm an early riser, I like to get up at 5am typically what happens is I would spend five to 7am clearing email, preparing for the day, etc. I had a very demanding job when I decided to start writing the book, which was one of the steps in planning for my future. I started getting up at 4am because in my mind I didn't want ever for there to be a perception that I was phoning it in, not as you know, dedicated, etc. Oh, she's writing a book now. How's she doing her day job? So I thought that that meant I needed to find another hour. Well, here's the bottom line: your employer does not own every hour of every day, and if I had. It to do over again. I think I would have had a more rational mind about, I don't really think they own 5am to 7am and maybe, maybe I don't have to get up quite that early, but, but some of the things I did, I got my coaching certification, I knew that would be a part of it, so I was taking some coaching classes, they had them offered on the weekends, and so I was able to do that. You had to do some practice coaching to get certification. I would do those on the evenings and weekends, so I worked it around. I was very intentional about making sure it didn't interfere. I was upfront about it with my employer that I was working on this coaching certification, and that I thought that it could add value to the organization, you know, that this was something was kind of my long-term three to five year plan, but particularly in the role that I was in, that that work and that education that I was doing would add nicely to my, to my day job, so I think it's finding those connections, I think if you're feeling that you have to hide what it is you're doing on the side, that creates additional guilt and worry that we carry enough of, right. So, in a perfect world, engage, engage your employer, or your, or your leader in that conversation, let them know how you're planning to manage that, to where it's not an interference, let them know that it's part of your long-term journey, and quite frankly, if you get a negative reaction to that, that says more about the organization and the culture that you should probably know.

Kim Meninger

I always think about that too, is I consider that just data consideration when you're making short and long-term decisions about where to stay.

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

That's right, yeah, 100%.

Kim Meninger

So, what you said too about the coaching and how that was actually relevant to the role that you were in, I wonder if you could say more to, especially with your HR background, about where there may be some flexibility within the roles that people hold today to maybe redefine the role or expand it to include different strengths or capabilities that are not included today, because I think sometimes we get into a fixed mindset of this is my job and there is no choice in how I'm showing up in the skills that I'm using, so do you have any thoughts on how people might make the business case for using other skills or expanding creatively?

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Yeah, and I think you're right too. I'm coaching a number of women right now, and they happen to be in the same organization, and what has been fascinating to me is as I'm, as I'm talking to them about what is your next, and let's talk about how we continue to take your to stay within the same company, but how would you take your talents that we've now uncovered and discovered to evolve your role? I can't tell you the number of times they've said, but that job doesn't exist here. And it's like, okay, you know what, 90% of the jobs that we're going to have 18 months from now don't exist today, that's, that's what's happening with the speed of technology and everything else, so I think first of all, it's getting out of the head space that, well, if it doesn't exist already, then that's a nonstarter. I think the bottom line is you have to be the curator of some of those things. I think the second thing is, for too long, whether we've been formed this way or it's our own way in which we protect ourselves, we put our agency in the laps of our organization, our leaders a lot. So, there's again, it gets back to that head down, work hard. There's this assumption that if when the right opportunity comes along, my work should speak for itself, and they'll tap me. I'm a firm believer that you have to hold your agency and nobody's doing that for you. Believe it or not, our leaders are not thinking about us 24/7, right? And having been in a C-suite role for many years, I can promise you that's not as much as I loved my team, they were not centered to my brain 24/7. So part of it is really, once you discover what am I really good at, what do I do spontaneously? I do with excellence, it brings me joy. I'm very consistent with it. Where could you add more of those things into your job? And begin brain, begin thinking about that. And the biggest thing, and this is me speaking from a leadership perspective, what problem are you solving? Right, because that's the thing I've really had to coach these women on, is that you know they want a promotion. Well, don't we all, and I want that for them. But what problem are you solving on behalf of XYZ Organization? So, if you can identify your gifts and talents, and then couple that with if you put those to work. Work within the organization. What problem could you solve? What could you, what quality could you improve? What results could you improve? What things could you mitigate? Risks could you mitigate, and then I'm a big fan of create that draft that ideal job with this job expansion. Sometimes I call it seat widening. You might not even be asking for a bigger title, or, you know, some.. it might just be, hey, just could we widen my seat a little bit? I would like to take on more responsibilities, expand my scope, so I can learn. But couple your talent with the problem an organization has, and then what you can say is I believe that we should have someone doing xyz. Here's why I think that makes sense for the organization. Here's the problem that it helps to solve, and I believe if you agree that this is an opportunity and a need, that, that I would be well-suited for that role, right. So, as an executive, I'm Tate, I'm drawn in by you're coming to me with a solution to a problem that matters. And, oh, by the way, you have the confidence to put forth yourself. Now, I can tell you one of the women I, you'll, and you'll appreciate this based on the context of your podcast. One of the women I did the email, right? She created the job, she created the email, she sent it, and what happened next? She got in her head about what if they don't think I'm qualified, what if they don't think I'm good enough, what if they don't think I'm ready.

Kim Meninger

Yes, yeah, and that I think is it's. I want to go back, actually, and tie this together, because one of the things that I was thinking about as you were talking about the importance of bringing in the value to the organization as well is that I think that there's a way in which we immediately go to, well, this is an inappropriate ask, I'm being selfish, [right,] I, who am I to ask for this, and I think that when we're coming from a place of feeling like we're asking the organization to do us a favor, [right,] that that also triggers a lot of that thinking of, well, what if they don't think I'm qualified, as opposed to standing in your belief in the value of what you're proposing, coming from a place of service, I have identified a gap that we are not filling, and I want to help the business fill that gap, right? Like that's a very different mentality that I think actually allows us to show up more confidently.

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

100%. What's funny, you say that, because when I said to her, after she sent the email. I said to her, "You feeling? And she said, "I'm fear. I said, "Of what? And she said, "I don't know. I'm just not good at being self-promoting. And I said, "I want to pause right there. Tell me, what about your email with self-promoting? And she sat, and she said, "You know what? Well, what I really did was I pointed out that there was a gap and that there was a problem, and it affected our consistency and our brand, etc. I said okay, and she said, and I mean, kind of doing that kind of stuff right now, and I basically just said that, you know, if that were to become formalized. I would like to, you know, be considered. I said, okay, again. So, what part of that is self-promoting? And she said nothing, but her first attempt was her first attempt was, I feel like, right, I should be promoted to this job because I'm kind of already doing these things, which is bold, which is bold. A lot of people wouldn't even be willing to go that far, but that's also off-putting for the leader, right? [That's right.] So, both things can be challenging. One is to sit and do nothing with it, and wait for somebody else to have agency for you, and the other is to put it out there, not realizing that you're solving a problem, and then you should have worries that they're going to be looking at you as this is all about you. To your point, when you put out the problem first, it's like look at your search orientation to this organization.

Kim Meninger

That's right, and I think too that we are in a moment in history where you mentioned 18 months from now the jobs they don't exist today is the job landscape is going to look very different, so leaders don't have the brain power to be able to anticipate every need to be able to craft every new job that needs to happen in order to meet the changing needs of the business, and so to be able to get ahead of that and feel like I am not only meeting my own needs, but I'm also helping the business adapt to right changing environment around them. I think again it speaks to that service orientation.

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Mhmm, and it definitely helps the person who sees the need. Hmm, but is afraid to put themselves out there, right? And then it's a matter of getting out of getting out of your head once you've taken the bold move.

Kim Meninger

Yes, yes.

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Which you know, my so, so psychology tells us a lot about perceptions, creates self-talk, which creates behavior, right? And so, when we talk about imposter phenomenon, we know that we have this perception, and then we start going down the negative, our own saboteur starts going at it. It affects our behavior in one way or another. One of the things I have been studying and spending a lot of time on recently is that our body tells us even before our internal saboteur kind of takes lead, and that is how do you experience stress or anxiety or worry, right? So for me it's my chest gets heavy, I feel like it's almost like where it's hard to breathe. I also have a lot of, like, GI-related, so I'll get that really yucky tummy. Some people experience migraines or lack of sleep or whatnot. If you can start to pay really close attention to your body when you start to feel those physical signals and realize where is this coming from it generally is at that early stage of that negative self-talk of well they're not going to think I'm qualified or I don't want to put myself out there or etc, and that is a good opportunity to pause and protest that inner narrative, that inner narrative is that true? What if, what if it isn't true? What if they think you're just the bomb-diggity, right? Maybe that creates new stress. I don't know, but, but, but to pivot, to really protest the thought, and then pivot. But I really have begun to think a lot about our body knows and keep score, and to start to listen to that, because I do believe if we can start to find our own signals, we can get ahead of that negative self-talk sooner.

Kim Meninger

Yes, you're absolutely right. It's, and it's funny you say that, because that has been at the heart of a lot of the work that I've been doing as well, and I call that your body's check engine light.

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

I love it. Check engine light.

Kim Meninger

Yes, and I couldn't agree with you more that if we understand our unique physiological response to stress and we really listen to it, that becomes the signal that, okay, time to push the pause button, time to just slow down for a bit, take a breath, whatever it is, because otherwise we're likely to go into reactive mode. We're going to go into our own heads, just, just slow, slow things down. And I think that that is the most reliable indicator that that is what's happening, is when you listen to your own body.

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

100% Yeah, and it's, and it's hard, you know. I say to the individuals that I have the privilege of coaching, it doesn't escape any of us, you know. I mean, I've been now running my own business for three years this month, and I still have situations where I'm going into a very high-impact client meeting, or I'm getting ready to pitch something new. Where my own.. oh my goodness, are they going to like this, or is this going to.. how is this going to go? What if they hate it? You know, what if I blow it? I'm 58 years old. I've been doing this for a really long time. I have a doctorate in social psych, you know. I know all the tricks, and I know all the psychology of it, and the neurology of it. And yet, you know, that's just that's human, and that's our, as you, as you well know, it's the our old ancient part of our brain trying to protect us, and so you know, I say that just for the person listening that says, well, yeah, but you know, you've had this kind of career, you've reached certain levels of success, or whatever. No, it still happens on the daily.

Kim Meninger

I'm glad you said that too, because I do think that there's either a misconception that there are people who don't feel this way, or that there's a magical cure, but often think about it as fear is a feature, not a bug, right? Fear is a part of our hardwiring that is designed to keep us safe and alive, and we just confuse what's actually a threat, and what isn't, and so to your point, if we are aware of how that shows up, then we can start to examine it and challenge it, and just say, okay, what am I actually afraid of here? What is the actual threat, and just engaging that analytical part of our brain, right, kind of. Absolutely, some of that primal experience that we naturally have, and it gives us the ability to think about what's actually happening, and how do we want to respond.

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

And the reality is, because of neuroplasticity, we can at least start to minimize the number of times it's happening, right, so there's, there's individuals, at least I know that I've worked with that sort of live in that space, they, they live in a sort of a fear basis, they have a high perfectionism talent, so, so failure is a big daunting thing, and so they live in this place of fear, and what I believe, and I believe science is really clear about, is if you continue to use a technique to be aware of your signals to protest whatever it is you're telling yourself, and to pivot something healthier, the more you do that, the more better, the better at it you get, the sooner you realize when you're potentially going down that path, right? So we catch it sooner, and I do think you start to retrain the brain, but I don't think to your point it ever goes away, because I love it's, it's not a bug, it's a, it's a feature.

Kim Meninger

Thank you. I think there's something hopeful about knowing that it is possible to build this muscle, and that I like to think about it as somebody who struggled with a lot of this throughout my career, that it, it does happen less frequently, and it becomes less disruptive when it does.

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Right.

Kim Meninger

When you have access to these tools and the ability to think in the ways that we're talking about.

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Yeah, absolutely.

Kim Meninger

Oh gosh, Cynthia, this time went by so fast.

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

I know I was thinking the same thing.

Kim Meninger

Well, for people who want more of you and your work, where can they find you?

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Yeah. Thank you so much. First of all, thank you for having me, and thank you for the work that you do. I love the entire premise of your thought leadership and the work that you do. I can be reached at Dr. Dr. hyphen Cynthia dot com So, Dr. hyphen Cynthia dot com I have a lot of free resources on my website, so most of the thought leadership is around this notion of drift, that we drift in our physical health, we drift in our, in our potential, we drift in our purpose, we get busy, we get complacent, and sometimes we don't put the focused energy on areas of our life that matter, so a lot of free resources there, if that resonates, and yeah, and on all the socials, Dr. Cynthia Bentzen Mercer.

Kim Meninger

Wonderful. I'll make sure those links are in the show notes. And thank you to you too. I really appreciate your being here. I love the work that you're doing, and I'm so grateful that you were willing to talk to us about it today.

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Absolutely, thanks, Kim.