Communicating More Effectively Under Pressure
- Kim Meninger
- 10 hours ago
- 22 min read
In this episode of The Impostor Syndrome Files, we talk about how to communicate more effectively under pressure. My guest this week is Salvatore Manzi, communications coach and author of the forthcoming book Clear and Compelling.
Salvatore shares his own journey from debilitating public speaking anxiety to helping professionals communicate with greater confidence and clarity. Here we explore the unique challenges facing introverts and analytical thinkers in environments that reward quick responses and spontaneous conversation. We also explore strategies for communicating more effectively in such moments.
Throughout our conversation, Salvatore shares practical techniques for contributing earlier in meetings, creating space to organize your thoughts, making complex ideas easier for others to follow and using simple communication frameworks to stay clear under pressure.
About My Guest
Salvatore Manzi is a leadership communications coach helping leaders amplify their influence and impact. He’s coached leaders presenting at the United Nations, guided startup founders and investors through fundraising rounds, including one that raised $100 million over their goal, and has helped biopharma and nuclear scientists present their work globally. With emphasis on frameworks, principles, and techniques, Salvatore supports leaders in connecting authentically and navigating high-stakes engagements with confidence. His book, Clear and Compelling, was picked up by a NY publisher and scheduled for re-release in October 2026. It combines his research into neuroscience, psychology, and organizational behavior, and decades of coaching into practical strategies for turning insights into influence. He’s passionate about fostering collaborative team environments that integrate diverse perspectives through effective communication.
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Transcript
Kim Meninger
To welcome Salvatore, it's great to have you here today. I would love to start by inviting you to tell us a little bit about yourself.
Salvatore Manzi
Thank you, Kim. It's wonderful to be here, and thank you for having me. I am a communications coach. I evolved into this role after discovering my own challenges around speaking up and public speaking, my dad was a he spoke at conferences, came home so lit up, and my mom led large group facilitated events, and so I thought, oh, this is my destiny. And when I got up on the stage, my voice began, it got so high it cracked, and then I lost my voice. I had to leave the stage in shame, and I had to ask myself, what is going on? Why did my body betray me? And I wanted to overcome the fear, so I threw myself into studying neuroscience and cognitive psychology and organizational behavior to understand how the brain works, how it works when we talk to each other, and what I discovered. Number one, I'm more introverted. First of all, I don't naturally want to claim the spotlight, and number two, I'm very analytically minded, and so I had to discover ways of communicating that worked with the way my brain and my personality fit, and throughout the course I began. As I got better, I started helping other people, and I started finding coaches that helped me. And the biggest aha that I would share, relevant to the show, is that one of my mentors introduced me to the book, Taming Your Gremlins. Oh, oh, it's good. Taming your gremlins, you name that, that part of the brain that is telling you something that isn't necessarily true, and I realized that I have an imposter named Perry, Perry the Perfectionist. Every time I would try to get up and speak, Perry would be like, "Oh, you messed that up, oh, that person's not listening, oh, you did it. And I learned to develop a relationship with Perry and not let it take me down every time I wanted to contribute in a meeting or I wanted to share my idea, it was like so that's evolved after 20 plus years, and now I have a book, Clear and Compelling, coming out this October through Morgan James Publishing, and it is 20 plus years of communication coaching and strategies, primarily for analytical scientist engineering brains, and for anybody who believes that they don't necessarily have a voice at the table. These are strategies to help them use their voice in those rooms.
Kim Meninger
I'm so excited to have you here, because I think that that probably reflects a big part of the listening audience, and one of the things that I just want to acknowledge is how, how willing you were to jump into solutions instead of just avoiding the speaking right, like I, I feel like there's a way in which, when it comes to speaking, whether that's formally or informally, we sometimes tend to have a fixed mindset around it, of like, oh, well, that's just not me, right, I don't have the charisma, or that's for extroverted people, or whatever it is the story that we make up around why I'm not the speaker that I want to be, as opposed to recognizing it as a developable, is that a word, skill.
Salvatore Manzi
We're gonna go with it. [Yeah.] Carol Dweck's book, Mindset, was a game-changer in my mind, and I'm not gonna shy away from being honest. Here, I went through a very dark period of like, nope, I'm never getting on a stage again. And then I realized I can't, I can't advance if I can't communicate my feelings and my beliefs. I have to like get up there, and that Carol Dweck’s book helped me reframe how I see the imposter when it shows up, not as.. oh no, I'm not.. I'm not.. this is not my wheelhouse, I'm just going to avoid it, but oh, here's something new. This is a new opportunity. Let's see where this leads. Let's try something new at this.
Kim Meninger
Can you talk a little bit more about what's different in terms of speaking as an introvert versus an extrovert, because you mentioned the not like necessarily wanting to claim the spotlight, and I think that's important. There are a lot of introverts listening, and I think this is often kind of a line within organizations. There's, there's a, an implicit, sometimes explicit bias towards extroverts, and the expectation that they can just, you know, speak off the cuff, and everybody kind of thinks on their feet all the time. And so, can you talk a little bit about what is different for an introvert?
Salvatore Manzi
Yeah, and to clarify, I can't speak for all introverts, but as an introvert, I can explain my experience and couple it with that idea of being an analytically minded person. So, when a topic is brought into a conversation, my brain downloads 1000s of various variables, and I'm wanting to look at all of them and think about it and see how they're connected and then come up with a theory and then come up with a and it can take me 15, 20 seconds, 30 seconds to formulate a complete response to what's been offered but we live in an aside to your point that rewards the fastest speaker and there's something called the delay bias. I don't know if you're familiar with it. The delay bias is that idea that when a person doesn't respond in the time that you anticipate them to, we, we kind of unconsciously see them as slightly less than. I don't know if you've ever watched Nemo, you know, when he's with Dory, and he kind of goes, huh, like you didn't quite answer that the way I thought, or as soon as I thought you would, that that delay bias we projected onto others when we don't see them respond fast enough, but we reprojected on ourselves as well. If I don't respond fast enough, and it creates this tension, the neuroscience is that it shuts down our access to the prefrontal cortex, so we're no longer able to even think about the things that we had planned, and we shut down. So, as an introvert, what I've had to learn to do is give myself the time and the pace, the time to respond, not to feel obligated to respond the fastest. Number two, in a room where everybody is basically rewarding whoever speaks first, I've learned to number one, get my voice into the room within the first five minutes. There's a, the pressure builds the longer I wait to speak, so in the first five minutes of meeting I need to make a contribution of some part to make sure everybody in the room knows that I'm in the meeting, and then I have little hacks that I use because when I know I don't have a fully formed thought to share yet, but I need to grab this space, I'll say that is something I would like to respond to. What do I want to say? Hold on, let me give me a sec. And then I'll take that pause for myself to complete my thinking, but by grabbing that spot in the, in the, in the queue of everybody speaking, it gives me a chance to actually get my voice into the room, and it, it's, you know, I stumbled through it, but I don't know if that completely answers the question. What I would back up and say, for introverts and anybody that's out there that's introverted, I love you, you're my people. Um, let's create a world where we can make it more safe space for all of the different thinking that are out there, but the introverts tend to think before they speak, which inherently makes them a better communicator when it comes to thoughtful conversations. It is a, it's a hint, it's a bit of a hold back when it comes to organic, creative, like iterations in the moment, so the game of an introvert is to seize that superpower of thinking before you speak, but at the same time, throwing yourself into the melee, knowing that you don't have to get it right. You don't have to have the perfect thought in those times where the iterative cycle is what is being valued in the room.
Kim Meninger
I think that's a really great, nuanced way of looking at it, because I am an extrovert, primarily, and I think out loud. So, I think you're absolutely right, it's not the most efficient way of communicating. I'm very comfortable on my feet, but sometimes I, it takes me a while to get into the message, like, oh yeah, that's what I'm trying to say, right?
Salvatore Manzi
What I mean to say is, and God bless them, I love the ride that y'all extroverts take us on, it's always a fun journey, I'm like, where is this going, this is great.
Kim Meninger
But you're right, that there is a, a superpower in thinking first, and I think that there is not the space to do that in these rapidly changing, like fast-moving types of environments, and so I want to go back to the delay bias for a minute, because I think that's a really interesting point, and you've given us some things to think about in terms of how to navigate that, and maybe like show up a little bit differently in these spaces, but I often wonder too if there's any value to naming what you're doing to kind of take the subjectivity out of it and get like not leave it up. The other person to make us up a story of what's going on.
Salvatore Manzi
Yeah, one of the principles of one of the strategies in my book is to state the obvious, state the obvious name, what's happening in the room for yourself in the conversation. It both elevates you as a leader, because a lot of people are wondering, is anybody else seeing this? And when you name it, people resonate with what you said, and they're able to follow where you lead. It also gives you lead time. It gives you a little lead time to think about what it is that you want to contribute. In addition, what I'm hearing the room say is this, and what I like about what they said is this, and my thoughts on this are it gives you a little bit of a lead time, and again, these are hacks that I use as an introvert to get my voice into the meeting when I don't always feel like I have a voice at that meeting.
Kim Meninger
Yeah, I love that, and I wonder too. Do you engage allies in this process? Like, is there any way to kind of have your extroverted friend help you out here?
Salvatore Manzi
I am fortunate to get to work with a lot of female professionals who's, who are statistically research shows gets talked over, interrupted all the time. It happens so much it still boggles my mind that we're in 2026 and this is still happening, like we've known about this and it's still happening. Why? And I say to all of my female clients, don't go into that meeting without knowing who your ally is, that's going to amplify what you just said. I don't know if you've heard of the amplification technique. It started during the.. oh, you do know it. Yeah, it started…
Kim Meninger
Maybe not everyone else does.
Salvatore Manzi
It started in during the Obama administration. The women in the room realized that they were getting interrupted, talked over, so they started amplifying when one woman would say something, another woman would say, as so and so just said, I will, and so they repeat the name as well as the point, so that it becomes an amplification, and the because there's also something called the illusionary truth effect in meetings, so it's, it's a women are hit with a double whammy here, because on the one hand, research shows they're going to get interrupted and ignored the first time they offer a point, it hurts, it's not good, illusionary truth effect is that people need to hear a point 2, 3, 7 times before they actually resonate with it, so even though she shared the most poignant point of the entire meeting, nobody heard it until he repeated her, and it's annoying to watch that happen. Don't let that happen. Have an ally in the room that can amplify your voice, your name, and your point, so that you defeat both issues at the same time.
Kim Meninger
That is really powerful. I'm glad you brought up the illusionary-truth piece too, because I do feel like it even requires so much courage sometimes to make the point, and then it kind of gets lost in the shuffle, and right, and, and then you, the next time you may not have the confidence to either repeat the point or contribute the next time.
Salvatore Manzi
Or maybe you have the confidence, but you're thinking, Why should I? Why should I bother? No one's listening.
Kim Meninger
Yes, that's a really good point too.
Salvatore Manzi
Which is a bit of defeating being in the, in that moment too.
Kim Meninger
Can I ask a practical question? Because I'm sure there are people listening who want to know this too of do you have suggestions on how to ask for that allyship if that's not something that happens organically? Like, how would I go to my male colleague and say, will you amplify my point.
Salvatore Manzi
The socializing your idea in advance. Find one person that's going to the meeting and have a conversation beforehand to socialize your thinking in advance of what's on the agenda, and then say, hey, would you mind if I share something? Would you mind reiterating what I shared right afterwards? We'll make a game of it. I'll amplify what you say, and you amplify what I say to make sure that our points don't get lost. Obviously, in an ideal world, you have somebody in the room that you've developed a mentor or coaching or some sort of support relationship with, but don't go into any meeting without having socialized a moment and setting yourself up with that eyelash ally in the meeting.
Kim Meninger
I think that's a really important point too, especially for introverts. I think I am an extrovert, but I'm also somebody who has. Is historically had a lot of anxiety when going into a room without clear expectations. What the conversation is going to look like, right? Because…
Salvatore Manzi
100%. Every networking event ever, like, why am I here?
Kim Meninger
Yeah, and I think that triggers a lot of imposter syndrome, of like you said, why, why am I here? What, what value can I possibly contribute? We make up all kinds of stories if we don't have the information, and so I think there's a lot of value to even clarifying with the meeting organizer or somebody attached to the meeting of what role am I here to contribute, you know, what role am I here to play, and what, what contributions am I expected to make, so that I can anchor myself before I get there.
Salvatore Manzi
And I love that word, anchor, and I use a tool called A-4-matians by Noah St. John, he created this idea of using a-4-mations, it's not an affirmation. An affirmation only works if you're already in a good place. If you are, if you're having a really bad day, and you said life is wonderful, your brain is like, no, not taking it. A-4-mation takes the affirmation and makes it a question. So, what is going right today? What is working out for me today? What is happening that I appreciate. So I anchor before I go into a meeting, especially one that I'm not clear on what the expectations are. I will anchor myself with a-4-mations: what value do I bring? What have I achieved? Where am I a success? What do I.. what am I proud of myself for? What's something that I've been working on that I'm really excited about? By priming these questions in my brain, I'm activating a part of me that's ready to speak on a range of quality topics that I feel confident about.
Kim Meninger
Oh, I love that. I think that's a great way to think about because I often think about how we can prime ourselves for these types of moments, and one of the things that I often recommend is don't go into the meeting trying to prove yourself, go into the meeting aiming to be of service, right. So, if you think about it as how can I help instead of how can I, how can I prove that I belong in this room, you're going to go in with a different mindset, and you're not going to be in your own head, you're going to be focused on what the room needs, and I love what you're saying, which is I need to know how I can be of service, so how do I sort of orient myself in the things that I do well, and that I, you know, the capabilities that I have to be of service to others.
Salvatore Manzi
Absolutely, and I love that you bring this up. I work with a lot of clients to help them turn off the self-perception lens in those moments, and one of the easiest hacks is to go into a space of generosity, rather than questioning what are they going to think of me, do I look okay today, am I? We can very easily turn the lens inward and look at ourselves from so many, even when we started this conversation, I turned off self-view on the camera because I, it helps me shut off watching myself on a virtual platform. If I can't see myself, if I can see myself, it starts to trip me up. Oh no, my lighting is bad. Oh, my hair is out, and every time I turn the focus inward, it just triggers that imposter. Perry, my perfectionist is very vocal about, like, no, no, that eyebrow hair, you need to get that eyebrow, calm down, people are going to notice that, nobody's going to notice it, but if I switch to the idea of being generous, how can I help my listener get to where they need to go, or where I can help them get to then it changes my whole approach to the situation. I lose myself and I go all in on being of service to that person, understanding what the connection is that they could potentially make to solve their situation.
Kim Meninger
Yeah, I, and I think that it becomes self-reinforcing too, because when you feel like you're being of service, you feel more confident, right?
Salvatore Manzi
It gives a sense of purpose. Yeah, at the same time, there's something else. If I could go back to one thing you said about the introvert, too, I think a lot of my clients, what they're experiencing is they've thought through something fully, and they've come to a conclusion that they feel is quite helpful to the group or the setting, and they offer that statement, but it isn't received, and it feels. I mean, as an introvert, from I can speak as myself, I feel sort of hurt that the work that I put into coming up with a brilliant idea is not being listened to in a room, and it's hard for me to remember that not everybody hears me the first time I say it, or they can't hear the way I said it, because, and here's a truth that's hard to accept. I've jumped all the way to the finish line, and they're still at the halfway mark. I need to make sure to bring them along to my conclusion, and I have a, I have a brilliant client. She is, she's in charge of data for a large healthcare organization Chief Data Officer, and one of the challenges that she had is that she would be in a room and then she would make a statement that would be 15 minutes ahead of the conversation, and everybody in the room would be like, yeah, how did you get there? I don't get it, and instead of being met with, like, oh, what a great idea, she's being met with defensiveness. Prove your point. Where did you hear? Why did you have.. and so she can't fully just be herself. And this is getting back to the state, the obvious, when she began stating the obvious of what she's hearing. What the, what's the data that's being interpreted, stating the connection of how she sees it put together, and then making her final statement? People in the room are, I get it now, and then it's more readily heard, of course. This, anybody out there, I get it. Not every environment allows you to go through a three-full-points before they interrupt you. There's just fast-moving offices out there, and if you gamify this and think, okay, how can I state the obvious, how can I make the connector, and then how can I land a point that I want to, it's more likely to bring the rest of the room along to make that point.
Kim Meninger
I think that that perspective on connecting the dots is so important, and I think it's important for all of us to think about, because I'm thinking about that, even as an extrovert, is you know, sometimes you're, you're thinking ahead of what the person is talking, and then you jump in, and they're oftentimes we're not on the same page, and so anything we can do to, to sort of ground ourselves in a, in a pace that makes sense for everybody is really powerful.
Salvatore Manzi
100% I love that. Not on the same page, honey, you're not even on the same book. I don't know, we got different novels reading, right? There is a lot of what I teach as well, not some.. well, I don't want to be completely.. let me back up. A lot of my clients also, because they are so analytically driven, they often make that disconnect. They think that the other person is following their train of thought, and so learning to start by reflecting what I heard you say, acknowledging why that's a valid point, and then making the point is helpful. A lot of tech engineer analytical people will speak zeros and ones. Here's your point. Here's my point. Here's your point. Here's my point. And if you've got somebody in the same mindset, it works, but when you're in a room that has the marketing as well as the sales as well as the finance, you've got these different mindsets and can't just fire off responses. There needs to be a reflection and acknowledgement, and a point. Follow that formula, and you're sure to create connection with anybody and everybody in the room.
Kim Meninger
Can I ask you a question, too, about so one of the things I'm thinking about is speed and pace of a lot of these conversations, like you mentioned, sometimes there just isn't enough room to make those points. I often think about what's possible after the meeting if you didn't catch the moment or you just didn't, it didn't happen the way that you wanted it to. Do you have thoughts on how to follow up?
Salvatore Manzi
Absolutely, I have lots of thoughts. I highly recommend sending a follow-up. And here's the advice, though: don't immediately send me a follow-up. Write the follow-up, let it set for a couple hours, then come back and review it one more time. Chances are you had a really good insight that you wanted to follow up on, and if you let it stew, because there's no urgency once the meeting is over, there might be somewhat, but there's no urgency to immediately tell the person the thing that you wish you had said. You can give it a little bit more time, and again, if you start with reflecting on what you. Heard in the meeting, acknowledging that person's point of view or the perspective, and then offering your perspective at the end, it will come across as a more thoughtful and complete follow-up than just, hey, this is something I didn't get to share in the meeting.
Kim Meninger
Yeah, I like that. I think it works for both you and the other person, right, gives you more space to think about it, but also, like you said, it's not - I think it could easily get lost in the shuffle in the same way as if you had said it in the meeting, if you do it immediately afterwards, because it's all part of the same jumble of information, but if you give it some breathing room.
Salvatore Manzi
Yeah, they're still steeping it. It will, it will get lost because they're still processing what they heard, and one more data bit will just get lost in the rest of the process.
Kim Meninger
Exactly, can we talk to you a little bit about maybe more, more formal, and that's probably too strong a word, because I'm not talking about being on a main stage at a conference, but just more so of like you're the one speaking to the group, and so you have to do a presentation or some kind of a of a pitch or update in your leadership meeting, and there's all the anxiety that comes with that.
Salvatore Manzi
Good, that anxiety means you care. This is a good thing. That was the biggest change that I had to make reading my nervousness in terms of what it meant to me. It, it doesn't mean that I lack the confidence or that I'm not capable, or that, oh, I should already be better at this, and what it means is that I care. I care about them understanding and connecting with what I have to share, and I love the way you're sparsing it off. Lot of people tell me, "Oh, I don't do public speaking. I'm like, "Well, you've opened your mouth and said that's public, it's public now, it's you publicly spoke. But a lot of people don't get up on stages, but we all do have to share our perspective on a topic, give a presentation on our next proposal for how we take this forward, share an update in a meeting, or just have to speak to our area of expertise in a way that is concise and effective, and that only comes with practice. Communication is an art. We have to keep practicing how to do that. To prepare yourself is always going to help you feel more confident in the situation, and using a framework. If I have five different frameworks in my book to offer. When you get used to using a framework, it helps you in that moment still speak in a concise and coherent way for that as well.
Kim Meninger
I love the idea of frameworks, especially for analytical people. I think that, that it feels like a bit of a safety net, or you know, it's a way of taking a lot of information and condensing it and making it more concise, because I think one of the challenges is it's all in our heads, and it's really hard to determine what's relevant to other people, and so, how do I…
Salvatore Manzi
Yeah, what context do I pull from? How broad do I make this? Where do I start? These are all challenges that we're all faced with, and when we get used to using a framework, and the frameworks in my book are based on neuroscience, so they actually are framed to the way our brains think, instead of simply trying to wing it through a talk. If I follow a certain pattern, a certain frame, I know that my audience is going to get me, they're going to understand and even repeat back the intention behind my message, and that's why I agree as an analytical person with the 1000s data bits coming down, wants to respond. It helps me to have a framework, so I know I know where to start, and I know where to go from there. Super helpful.
Kim Meninger
Yeah, I wonder too, if you could share any thoughts on what to do with questions that feel off topic, or I think that's one of the biggest challenges, too, is you feel like you've done your preparation, and then someone comes in out of left field, and it just paralyzes you.
Salvatore Manzi
It's so real, and I don't know anybody who's listening who hasn't had that experience? Wait a minute. What meeting are you attending? The challenge is not to make them look bad, because every opportunity to connect with somebody is an opportunity to build a relationship, and anybody in the room who's watching. Is interpreting this is how they're going to treat me as well, so that whole goal of psychological safety starts with us and making the most obtuse, obscure, out of sync conversation feel welcomed in the moment, and my go-to in these situations is to stop and say I appreciate what you're saying, and I want to make sure I understand what you're asking, and then I will either repeat their question or repeat my understanding of their question, give them a little bit more leeway to explain how it's connected in the way that I'm not seeing it, rather than trying to control the situation or control, like, don't take us off topic. I've got three more minutes of this talk, and where are you going with this? Right, I hope to see everybody's share as a valuable contribution and create a relationship that's going along last longer.
Kim Meninger
I really appreciate that perspective on psychological safety, too, and that, you know, we tend to think of that as something that comes from this mythical above, right?
Salvatore Manzi
Where’s that wand? I had a wand around here somewhere.
Kim Meninger
Yeah, and so I think it's those little moments that determine how people feel in your presence, and so making it a welcoming space makes a big difference.
Salvatore Manzi
It really is, and there's too many times, especially in a meeting, where somebody will say something that's it discounts what I just shared, or it waters or muddies what I tried to just share, and my knee-jerk response is like, How could you be so stupid? And I've had to, what I do again, I gamify everything. I turn to that person, and I see them as a four-year-old, and rather than seeing them as antagonistic and taking it personal, I will see them, and I'll say to myself, this is not about me. Whatever that person just brought into this arena has nothing to do with me. So, let's see what's going on with them, and let's determine, in the context of the situation, what speed we need to get us back to where we were, or allow this person to bring in some divergent thought into the conversation.
Kim Meninger
That's a really great way of taking some of that defensiveness and emotion of the situation. Oh my gosh, Salvatore, you have brought so much value to the last 30 minutes, and I know there's so much more where that came from in your book, and in your work. Can you tell us where to find you? If people absolutely, I would love to hear from you?
Salvatore Manzi
My book, Clear and Compelling, comes out in October, October 13, it's my mom's birthday. October 13, the book will be released. You can buy it anywhere that you buy books. It pre-orders, available now. And to get all them, you can go to Clear and Compelling Playbook dot com That's Clear and Compelling Playbook dot com It'll give you access to a lot of free downloads, a free chapter, as well as you can sign up for my newsletter, and I share communication strategies every couple of weeks like these.
Kim Meninger
Oh, excellent. Well, I'll make sure those links are in the show notes. I'm gonna sign up as well. And thank you so much for being here.
Salvatore Manzi
Thank you, thank you for what you're doing. And when I saw the title of your show, and then started watching it or listening to it, I was like, yes, somebody gets me, Perry, there's a support group for you, come here. So, thank you, keep up the good work.
