Rewiring Self-Doubt

In this episode of The Impostor Syndrome Files, we explore what happens when logic isn’t enough to break through self-doubt—and how hypnosis can help us shift long-held patterns that keep us stuck. My guest this week is Jennifer Fidder, a social psychologist, NLP practitioner, and transformational hypnotist who helps high-achievers move from awareness to sustainable change.

Together, we discuss the hidden logic of the subconscious mind and why the fears, perfectionism, and self-sabotage we experience aren’t personal failings—they’re outdated protective strategies. Jennifer offers a powerful reframe of impostor syndrome, not as a flaw to fix, but as a signal that we’re leveling up and stretching into new territory.

We also dive into how hypnosis can help rewire our thinking and create space for more confident action — from applying for a promotion to simply taking the next bold step. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a cycle of overthinking, procrastination, or fear of failure, this episode offers a fascinating look at how we can reprogram old patterns and move forward with clarity and courage.

About My Guest

Jennifer Fidder is a social psychologist and hypnotist with almost 20 decades experience in the coaching field. She helps others overcome their fears, doubts, and insecurities, so they can feel more empowered, confident, and fulfilled - in their personal life and business.

Her services include virtual one-on-one hypnosis sessions, workshops, seminars, as well as speeches.

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Connect with Jennifer:

Website: https://www.jenniferfidder.com

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Transcript

Kim Meninger

Welcome, Jennifer, it's so great to have you here today. I would love to start by inviting you to tell us a little bit about yourself.

Jennifer Fidder

Yeah, of course. Thank you so much for having me, first of all. And yeah, like you said, my name is Jennifer. Jennifer Fidder. I am a social psychologist and hypnotist. I moved, actually, to the US in 2010 from Germany. And the funny story, kind of is, I studied in Germany six long years to become a social psychologist and educational scientist. When I came to the United States, nobody cared about my degree. So I was like, Okay, fine. I did have some degrees and certificates in the fitness field. So I started basically right from the beginning on my own business as a personal fitness trainer. Did that for a long, long time. Had some side jobs to pay the bills at the beginning. And then in um, I want to say, like, probably 2019 it was like before the pandemic, someone some along the line, I became an NLP practitioner and eventually a hypnotherapist, first to help my fitness clients better, and then I just realized the power that hypnosis has, and kind of ventured out in other areas. And now I still do a lot of one-on-one hypnosis-based coaching, but I also do workshops, I do speaking engagements, and, yeah, I'm basically on my second business now, if you will.

Kim Meninger

So I would love to hear more about is, was there a particular area of study that you focused on when you were studying social psychology?

Jennifer Fidder

I was always more interested in the mind than, like, the, the social part, part of it. So I did a lot of optional courses during my studies where it was really more about, okay, how does our mind really work? Like, why are we doing the things that we're doing? And I think that's also why I kind of gravitated towards the hypnosis field later on, because it was just one more thing that I could learn to make me better understand why we're doing all the things that we're doing.

Kim Meninger

Yeah, that, I'm equally fascinated with that too. It's been something I've always been curious about is, yeah, what's the motivation behind our behavior and that we made?

Jennifer Fidder

And it's so fascinating because that field is still relatively at the beginning. I mean, you have now neuroscience coming in, and you have all those new research that is being done. So it's just for me, it's just a completely fascinating field that I can just lose myself in and just spend hours just reading through papers.

Kim Meninger

Exactly. Well, and it sounds like you started with a focus on fitness, and then you've expanded since then. What are the kinds of what are the kinds of challenges that people come to you with?

Jennifer Fidder

So right now, I kind of and that just kind of happened by, by accident, if you will. I That wasn't intentional. I have a lot of entrepreneurs that come to me, so I work a lot with fear of failure, fear of rejection, impostor syndrome, perfectionism, stress, overwhelm. So everything that I, as an entrepreneur, go through all the time. That's what I help other entrepreneurs with. But I also have, have other people coming to me if they're in management positions, if they're just like sometimes moms who just feel completely overwhelmed or feel like they're not doing a good job, you know, it's, it's very, a very wide range of people, but mostly entrepreneurs right now.

Kim Meninger

And it sounds like the classic kinds of symptoms, so to speak, people who are very high achieving, perfectionist but struggling with a lot of self-doubt.

Jennifer Fidder

Yes, yes, the typical, if you will.

Kim Meninger

Yes, exactly, exactly. So I'm curious about the hypnosis piece, because that is an area that is not I'm not familiar. I don't have any experience with it, and so I'm curious, like, what that does for you in terms of your ability to support some of these people, how it works? I think that there's probably people listening who don't have a good sense of hypnosis, either outside of maybe the movies or the TV shows.

Jennifer Fidder

And that's usually always the first association that you have with hypnosis, like somebody being on stage and making people fall asleep and do the weirdest stuff. That's one way to do it. That's a totally valid form of hypnosis. It's called stage hypnosis. It's purely for entertainment purposes. But there's other type of hypnosis too that can be more transformational and actually make a difference in the world and the, the way hypnosis basically works is and why it works so well. Usually, when we try to make changes in our life, we come with the logic from the conscious mind, and we want to change something that is inside of our subconscious mind, not. Realizing that oftentimes there's a different logic behind everything, simply because most of the patterns that we're developing, be it behavior patterns, thought patterns, come from our childhood, it was a mechanism that our subconscious mind developed to protect us from whatever or to make things easier for us, and usually, our subconscious mind holds on to those patterns, and it doesn't grow with us. So when we get older and we're now like 30-40, years further ahead, we know, on a conscious level, a lot of the things that we're doing are not serving us anymore, but our subconscious mind doesn't realize that. And the advantage that we have with hypnosis is that we have direct access to the subconscious mind and can basically explain the logic and say, Hey, I understand where you're coming from. I understand what you're doing, and I appreciate all your help that you want to give me, but this is not serving me right now anymore, and when our subconscious mind understands that, it's usually very quick at letting those patterns go. Because, again, the, the main reason why it does it is to protect us. And if that reason is not a valid reason anymore, then it's like, okay, I guess my job is done and it just lets it go right? And that's why, why change can happen so fast and so rapid with hypnosis because we have that direct communication that we usually are lacking.

Kim Meninger

That’s so interesting because you, you said that the sort of non-hip, non-hypnosis version of trying to address these issues, right, is going through your conscious brain right to reach the unconscious, and there's a disconnect there, [yeah,] but then you're kind of bypass…

Jennifer Fidder

Exactly. We always say in hypnosis, we always say there's a thing that's called the critical faculty, and I always explain it as a bouncer in front of a club, like a security guy who decides who gets into the club and who doesn't, and that is that barrier that is there. And then when you want to make the changes with the logic from the conscious mind, you're basically always talking to this bouncer, and you're trying to explain your case, and you're showing him all the evidence, and then he's like, Yeah, but that is not what we learned, honey. So we're not changing anything just because you say so, right? And then when you find a way, like you said, to like, kind of circumvent that, then it's a lot easier because you're not running into this barrier anymore.

Kim Meninger

So how does your or how, if at all, is your conscious mind involved, like, is this something that's happening without your awareness? Or does your conscious mind sort of have a connection your, you know, while you're speaking to the subconscious, where is the conscious mind?

Jennifer Fidder

Where did it go? [Yeah.] So again, there's different, different ways to do it. The form of hypnosis that I use is a non-trans based hypnosis, meaning my clients are fully awake and they're fully conscious. So their conscious mind is there. They can engage with the whole process if they want to, or they can just look around the room, look against the wall, and just count the tiles, or whatever they want to do. But they're fully awake, so they understand exactly what's happening. They hear exactly what's happening. And sometimes you can really see in the face, like, Oh, this is where it's coming from. And so like, this aha moment, right? And then you have, like your traditional hypnosis, where you do the thing with the pendulum, and you put people to sleep, then the conscious mind is pretty much just doing whatever it wants to do, and it's not really fully there, yeah, but there's different ways to do it.

Kim Meninger

So okay, so your, your way is, your, the conscious mind is still?

Jennifer Fidder

Is there. Yes, it's fully there, yes.

Kim Meninger

Because I was wondering too, how you how you catch or if you need to catch up the conscious mind, like, how do you then, after the fact, sort of reintegrate the thinking? Or does it matter? Because you were talking about behavior change, pattern change, right? If it's happening at a subconscious level, does your conscious mind even have to be leading the way at that like, how does, how does, how do you change your behavior after you've gone through this process?

Jennifer Fidder

So one, one of my mentors just to, like, kind of get a better idea of the conscious and the subconscious mind. One of my mentors, Tim box from the UK, he always says, the mind is like a ship. Every ship has a captain and the crew, the captain is the conscious mind. So the Captain has planned. The captain knows what he wants to do, where he wants to go, and the crew is actually the one who are there and they're moving the boat. They're. Sitting there, and they're rowing, and they're like, one and two, right? So they're doing the actual work. So now, when you when you made changes, and I have some clients, and it's kind of funny when, because they have like this, how can you explain it best, like this, this kind of experience where they're looking at themselves from the outside? I just recently had that with a client. We were talking about weight loss and, and different habits that she had in regards to that with food. And then she told me, like, a few sessions later, she was like, it's so weird. Like, I prepared my food yesterday, like, just like that and there. And before, she was always like, Oh, now I have to do this. And it's just so horrible. And she's like, I just did it. There was no thinking involved. I just, I just did it. Yeah. So some, sometimes you really have, like, the conscious mind, who's just like, sitting back and watching it's like, oh, this is interesting. But in general, because it's still part of you. It's like one being so the mind understand what happened. It's just sometimes, and sometimes you always have this feeling of, Is this really happening right now? Did this really change? And that is usually, if we're staying in that analogy of the crew, like, different crew members that are kind of watching the scenario, and they're like, are we sure this has changed? It can't change, right? We've been doing this for so long. I mean, look at this, right? It's like, kind of this disbelief. Like, why is crazy? All of a sudden? Yeah, that usually goes away. Then after a couple of weeks where you realize, no, okay, this is actual, this is like sustainable change, and this is going to stay like this.

Kim Meninger

Well, you just answered my next question, too, the sustainability piece of it, right? So do they have to keep doing any particular type of work to keep this going, or does it just kind of rewire the way that they operate, and then it just sticks?

Jennifer Fidder

So it's, it's basically, when we're talking about pure hypnosis, it's a rewiring of the brain, meaning, once the subconscious mind understand the pattern that I'm running is not helpful anymore, it lets go of it. And that's usually it that works best when you have a very specific problem that you want to work on. For example, I have a fear of flying, and I don't want to have a fear of flying anymore. Very simple, right? Not always easy, but very simple. If you have things like, Okay, I just feel there's something wrong in my life, and I feel unfulfilled and I'm not happy, then you have to kind of kind of dismantle this whole thing and try to find out, okay, what is it? What are we talking about? And then you start making little changes, and you have to get to the bottom of it, or you have to find the biggest Domino, like, if you change this, then there will be this ripple effect, or you have a very specific problem. But you didn't address all the objections in the first session. Let's say if we're sticking with that example of fear of flying, usually you have a fear of flying, and then again, you're coming with a logic from the conscious mind and say, Hey, I really need to go on a lot of business trips every year. This is not helpful, right? And I can't take the car to get from New York to LA so. And then there is a reason why the subconscious mind is holding on to this fear, and you have to find those reasons. Those are called objections or barriers, whatever it is, the reason why your subconscious mind says, No, I want to hold on to this fear. And our job as hypnotists during the session is finding those barriers and kind of make the subconscious mind understand, okay, this is this is not working anymore, right? So if the change doesn't stick, or if the change is not complete, after the first session, it's usually a very good indicator that we simply didn't find all the objections again and say, Okay, what else is there that we didn't see? And then when we have that, then it's, it's sustainable. So you have to really make sure that you're removing everything that's blocking the change.

Kim Meninger

So that's really interesting because I can see how that becomes a lot more complicated if the problem is more ambiguous. [Yeah.] So can you talk a little bit about what you see with people who struggle with impostor syndrome? Are there usually similar objections underlying it, or do they vary from person to person widely?

Jennifer Fidder

Impostor syndrome, for me, is interesting, because it's one of those things we just talked about sustainable change, right? That tends to come back and not for the reason that you haven't addressed or. All the objections, because the way I see impostor syndrome, similar to like I see how anxiety works, is it's really a guiding system. It's not a problem, quote, unquote, that needs to be solved, but it's your body, your mind, giving you a direction. It's telling you, hey, you're at a point where you're leveling up. Because impostor syndrome usually only comes to those people who already developed a very specific expertise in their field. They already know a lot, and when you know a lot about a topic, you become aware of how much more there's out there that you do not know. And that is when impostor syndrome hits you. Right? We're like, I had that a lot in my first business, with a with a fitness part, I was also a nutrition coach. And if you really dive into nutrition, there's a lot, then we come like hormones, and what if people are pregnant, and what if certain disease, and you can just go on and on for years and study and you will never know it all. So, so I always had with nutrition. I always had this feeling of, oh my god, I will never be able to help them. I don't know what I'm talking about. Simply because I became aware of how much more there is to know.

Kim Meninger

That is a really good point. And I think that is something where, especially, like you said, if you are highly educated, highly experienced in a particular area, there's never a feeling of completion, like, oh, I I've reached expert status, and now there's nothing left, right.? There's always new information, new…

Jennifer Fidder

Yeah, yeah, more, unless you're like, a complete narcissist. But yeah, exactly, that's what it is.

Kim Meninger

So when we talk about the rewiring part, are you trying to reshape the relationship we have to our expertise, or what is it that's being addressed through hypnosis when it comes to impostor syndrome?

Jennifer Fidder

When it comes to impostor syndrome, it's mainly about a reframe of the experience, because what happens a lot with impostor syndrome is people let it stop them, right when we're talking about maybe they're not applying for the promotion because they feel they're not good enough for it, or in business, they're not hiring people because they feel they won't be able to, you know, run A company, or whatever it is. So it's about us reframing the experience, to see impostor syndrome for what it is, the guiding system that I mentioned, and to then use it as exactly that, as like your North Star, every time it hits again, you're like, oh, okay, we're at, we're at the edge of something new. This is awesome. This is exciting. And just with the reframe also comes a different experience, comes a different feeling, comes different emotions. So instead of this fear building up, or this just being scared and being frightened and freezing up, you get this. Ooh, this is exciting. We're getting to somewhere new, right? This is the next level that I've been waiting for, oh, yeah, and that's exactly what we want, and that's what we're doing with hypnosis when it comes to impostor syndrome.

Kim Meninger

And that reminds me of the expression that I heard long ago that I love, which is the only difference between anxiety and excitement is the story you tell yourself, right?

Jennifer Fidder

Yes, feeling exactly similar. Yeah. Yeah. 100% Yeah.

Kim Meninger

So then do you find people need to come back to you for a tune-up?

Jennifer Fidder

For a tune-up? Well, well, usually when, when they understand what impostor syndrome means, same thing, when they understand what, what anxiety actually is, then they usually don't come back because they know how to handle it. [Yeah, we can do it on their own at that point.] Exactly, exactly, so that they're just they're not attaching those negative emotions to it. And that's a lot what we have with, with any kind of changes, what we, that we want to make, it's always like this negative emotion that's attached to it. And when you can release that, you can move through it, and you can overcome it, and you can take the next step. Because my work is all about I need you to take action. Whatever you want to achieve in your life, whatever goal you have. My job is to get you to take action. I don't want you to just reframe your thinking and be like, Oh, everything is great now and then not do anything with it. But if you go out there and you're like, Oh, I actually applied for that job, or I asked for more money, or I applied for that promotion, or whatever it is, and then you come back to me and you're like, Yeah, that's what I want. That's my goal. You know.

Kim Meninger

Yeah, yeah. That makes a lot of sense. It's not just mental it's…

Jennifer Fidder

Yeah, because that's another thing. That's another thing a lot of people get caught up in when we're talking about personal development, and then we can go into things like manifestation and affirmations and all that stuff. It's like, yeah, you can think positively as much as you want to, but if you're not doing anything with it, that's right, it's not going to change your life, right? So then, then you're just sitting on your couch with your with your rose-colored glasses, when you're eating your chips, and nothing happens. So the point is to actually move the needle and change your life.

Kim Meninger

What is there a difference in what you see with people with perfectionism, because perfectionism is often tied to impostor syndrome, but it also feels maybe a little bit more specific, like do you see differences in?

Jennifer Fidder

Perfectionism is basically a symptom. Perfectionism is rarely the actual problem. It's usually a symptom of any kind of underlying fear, be it a fear of rejection, be it a fear of failure, because what perfectionism does is and it usually comes with procrastination, right? Because you want to whatever you want to make this presentation perfect, right? You want it to be so amazing, and then you procrastinate and you're like, doing all the little things instead of doing what's really important. Why? Because that and that happens actually, a lot of like to the entrepreneurs that I work with, they're so caught up in wanting to make everything perfect that they never put their course out there, or they never show anybody the video they recorded, right? Or they keep redoing their website, or whatever it is. So it's just simply another protection mechanism of the subconscious mind and just and it kind of makes you feel better because you keep doing things and you're like, No, I'm so busy and I'm doing all I can, but not really doing the things that matter.

Kim Meninger

Yes, it's a kind of an excuse to not take the scary action, right? Because exactly the illusion of productivity.

Jennifer Fidder

Yep, yeah, 100%.

Kim Meninger

So it sounds like if someone were presenting with that, that's you want to figure out, what are they trying to what are they distracting themselves from? Right? What exactly?

Jennifer Fidder

What, what is, what is the actual problem? What is the subconscious mind trying to protect you from? Yeah.

Kim Meninger

Yeah. And I think in fear of failure, you mentioned, I think that was the first thing that you said, right, which really is a big part of everything that we're talking about, is that, [yeah,] that fear, and I think, you know, it's interesting, because we have sort of very warped view of what failure even means. I think, I think, you know, for, for many of us, failure is a very dramatic way to describe little mistakes that are really consequential.

Jennifer Fidder

But again, why is that? Because there's always an emotion attached to it, and we usually blow things out of proportion instead of seeing it for what it is. Okay. I tried this, it didn't work. What can I learn from it? What can I do differently? If you don't attach any emotion to it, it doesn't become so scary anymore. It loses a lot of its power.

Kim Meninger

Yeah, and that's the key, like you said, right? And so is, is that the is that the conversation you're having with the subconscious too, is, what is the, what's the emotional response to these types of situations? Or?

Jennifer Fidder

It's usually more about, okay, where does, let's say, if we stick with the fear of failure, Where's this coming from? Right? And again, usually it's something from the childhood, right? Let's say, if we take and it's interesting, because it's sometimes when you think about it from a logical perspective with a conscious mind. Again, it's usually something very minor that when you think about it with a conscious mind, you're like, Yeah, but that was like, 20 years ago. That doesn't make a difference anymore. For example, let's say you were five years old, and you were at a school play, and you were supposed to be the tree, and just standing there in the background, swaying a little bit back and forth, and you fell and everybody started laughing, right? So now you look back and maybe you laugh about it too, yeah. But your subconscious mind was like, okay, if I'm somewhere on stage, people will laugh. So now you're supposed to hold a presentation, and you're sweating, and you go, why? Because you fell. You were that tree that everybody laughed about. So we're, we're going back to, okay, where's this coming from? And this was this. One situation in your life that doesn't mean it's going to happen again. And if it does happen again, we have a lot more tools now that we can draw from so it's not going to be this traumatic experience anymore. And then so yeah, eventually, sure you're right. It's about emotion, right? But you want to explain what's happening actually, and then the real, like the emotion can be released, if you will.

Kim Meninger

That makes a lot of sense. And I wonder because the, the example you gave is a great one. It was kind of a, a precipitating event, kind of stuck with us and…

Jennifer Fidder

Exactly.

Kim Meninger

But I also know a lot of impostor syndrome, and you know, some of these deeper fears, too, are tied to messages that maybe we got from our parents about expectations that were put upon us, and if we still have perhaps similar dynamics in those relationships today. So they're not in history. They're happening now, is there a way to work with that? And then, sort of almost you're still experiencing a lot of those messages, but you almost hear them differently or?

Jennifer Fidder

Right so, and that happens a lot, that we kind of seek the same kind of relationships that we grew up in, right if we grew up in abusive households, maybe we're choosing an abusive spouse, and that, just like, carries on, and that is a little bit difficult because we as coaches or as hypnotists, it's not my job to tell you, hey, you need to leave your spouse, right? So, so that's always like a very, very fine line there. But what we can do in situations like that is just making the subconscious mind understand, because sometimes it's, it's like this feeling for the subconscious mind of, okay, it's going to get a lot worse until it can get better, right? And just understanding that this is part of the process, that sometimes things do get worse before they can get better, and that we're adults, that whatever life throws us out, we can handle it. We'll figure out a way because we're still here. We survived whatever happened in the childhood, we figured it out. Yeah, we have some bruises and some scars, and that's okay, but we figure it out, and then just, just go from there and let the client then draw their own conclusions. You know.

Kim Meninger

That's a good point. There's a that's a different level of, [yeah,] doing that kind of therapy, psychotherapy, right?

Jennifer Fidder

Right, right. And that's, that's also a point that I always try to get across. I'm a social psychologist. I'm not a psychotherapist, so I do not do therapy. If I get the feeling during a session, hey, you really should be talking to somebody about your mental health, about whatever it is, like your abusive relationship, or something like that, I will refer them out to a therapist, you know, because my job is transformational hypnosis. My job is, like I said earlier, to get you to take action, I will not attempt to do any kind of therapy whatsoever. That's just not my, my expertise, you know, and I'm not going to put myself in hot water do something that I'm not qualified for.

Kim Meninger

No, that makes perfect sense. And so how would people know? I mean, obviously there are some good signals from what we've been talking about, but there is, are there specific things that people listening could think about as indicators of whether what you offer is the right fit or the most efficient path for them? Like, are there certain things that kind of tell you? Yeah, hypnosis is probably a really good option for me.

Jennifer Fidder

The interesting part about hypnosis is it's usually not something that you think about as your first solution when you have any kind of problem, right? You're not like, Oh, I'm dealing with XY that. Let me go see a hypnotist. You're usually going every other route. You're taking courses, you're reading books, you're maybe you actually are going to therapy, whatever it is. So what I feel is when clients really get stuck, when they're at a point in their life where they're like, Okay, I tried a lot of things, and this all did not work for me, and I keep falling back into those old habits. I know exactly what I have to do. I maybe even understand where it's coming from, but I cannot change it. That's when we come in as hypnotists, right? Because a lot of times, clients already have done a lot of work, and they're already very aware of. Is where their patterns are coming from, not all the time, but a lot of the times, because they have done so much work around the topic, and that actually makes it for us a lot easier, because then it's really just this click of a finger and you can release it, because a lot of the work has already been done.

Kim Meninger

Yeah. Now that makes that makes a lot of sense, and for, if people haven't gone through a lot of the other support that's out there, yet, would you recommend hypnosis as a first step?

Jennifer Fidder

I would, because it will make things a lot easier for you. You don't have to go through 30 years of trial and error. [Yeah, exactly.] I would love for people to be like, Hey, I have a problem. Let me go to a hypnotist. But unfortunately, as a society, we're still not at that point. But yes, if you're a very open-minded person and you're like, Okay, I'm struggling with something, and I want to go see a hypnotist. Yes, please do that, because it will make things so much easier. And I'm talking not only from, like the client experiences that I had, but my own experience, like there's so much in my life that I was struggling with for so, so long. And then when I learned in my case, then self-hypnosis, I was like, Really, it could have been so easy. Are you kidding me? And you get kind of mad because you've been working on this for 15 years, and then you find out, really, you know, so yes, please.

Kim Meninger

I love it. And so now that people listening are thinking, oh my gosh, I can't wait to go out and get hypnosis. Where can people find you if they want to learn more about your particular services?

Jennifer Fidder

The easiest way to find me is directly over my website. It's Jennifer Fidder dot com and from there you have a contact form. You have links to my social to like media appearances if you want to go through podcast episodes or articles that I wrote. So that's usually the first stop, Jennifer Fidder dot com, and from there you can then just stalk me if you want.

Kim Meninger

That’s perfect. I'll make sure that the in the in the show notes for anybody who's interested. And thank you so much. Jennifer, this has been fascinating. I think I'm just so personally curious about your work, and I'm so grateful to you for sharing it with us. Thank you for being here.

Jennifer Fidder

Thank you for having me. Kim, it was great.